Bow down.
A second straight post from Knick Hawk. I think it’s safe to say that I have taken complete control over this blog and my totalitarian regime will be a benign one (when looked back decades later).
The following 8 teams are busy trying to kindle a flame under their asses with whatever valuable resources they have left. Let’s start with a collective “You can still turn it around.”
Eastern Conference
Toronto Raptors
13-28
1. You lost your superstar to free agency. But, at least you’re not Cleveland.
2. Being the only team in Canada, every basketball fan pretty much has to pledge their allegiance to you. You know, if they’re real.
3. Your mascot is the scariest-looking one in the League. That has to count for something.
Washington Wizards
12-27
1. John Wall is your point guard.
2. John Wall wears your outdated uniform without disgust.
3. John Wall reported to your training camp after you drafted him.
New Jersey Nets
10-31
1. You may get Carmelo Anthony. Most likely, not. But, there’s still a chance. Even temporarily.
2. You won’t be in Jersey for that much longer.
3. You have massive cap room, lots of draft picks, and your owner has old Soviet-like ambition.
Cleveland Cavaliers
8-32
1. Your fans actually show up to the games!
2. Great uniforms. Plain. Look kinda like the Redskins. Unique.
3. There is some sort of life after LeBron. You’re still an NBA franchise.
Western Conference
Golden State Warriors
17-23
1. Monta Ellis is a one-man wrecking crew.
2. Stephen Curry has skills, too.
3. Besides the Lakers, the Pacific division isn’t great at all.
Los Angeles Clippers
15-25
1. You’ve got Blake Griffin. Dude is a monster.
2. Eric Gordon is in the Top 10 in scoring.
3. You’re on a hot streak right now. You’ve just won the Battle of Los Angeles.
Minnesota Timberwolves
10-32
1. Kevin Love is averaging crazy numbers.
2. Michael Beasley is a good pick-up.
3. …I really can’t think of anything else. Unless the two guys I’ve mentioned saves your franchise, it sucks to be you.
Sacramento Kings
9-30
1. You’re in California. I’ve heard the weather’s great there.
2. Tyreke Evans won Rookie of the Year last year.
3. Um…you’re getting a high draft pick next season.
At least you’re not the Shamwows.
Knick Hawk…at the buzzer!
