Okay. So, here’s the good news (not that there’s any bad news): Tim Burton is not directing the film adaptation for Seth Grahame-Smith’s book. He is producing it. Thank God for that. I used to be a Tim Burton fan. I like Edward Scissorhands, Big Fish, Sleepy Hollow, and even Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But lately, ehhhhhhhhhhh not so much. I’m guessing Tim Burton has taken the overall mixed reviews for Alice in Wonderland to heart. According to IMDB, he is waiting until 2012 to drop another potential stinker on us with some film called Frankenweenie. The title itself should give you enough chills to remind you it’s from the same mind that brought us Corpse Bride and Planet of the Apes.
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.
Some more good news (for this writer) is that the film hasn’t been cast yet. So, let’s get to it. My picks are:
I believe that Jay Baruchel (She’s Out Of My League, Knocked Up)has the face and lankiness to tackle the role. Nothing about him and his performances really suggest that he’s a terrible actor.
Runner-up: Sheldon Cooper Jim Parsons
He could pass as Jay’s father for real. Also, he has a timeless look to him. So, a story set in the 1800′s would be no problem for him.
A holdover from Burton’s last casting. As you might as seen from The Devil Wears Prada and The Princess Diaries (I’ve never seen the latter, I swear!), Ms. Hathaway can look pretty homely, which is great since I doubt any woman back in that time period was very glamorous. Also, her character dies fairly young. So, age progression wouldn’t be a factor here.
It truly wouldn’t be a Tim Burton film without him. As a matter of fact, I was envisioning him the whole time in that role as I was reading the book. I’m not sure if he’s ever played a vampire but he should play this one.
Abe’s first love interest. She gets killed but Emily has played in enough period pieces to automatically win this role.
I’ve heard that Abe’s wife was pretty petite. According to that Geico commercial, she was pretty damned small. Christina Ricci is small and easy on the eyes. She’s perfect for it.
Edgar Allan Poe
Admittedly, this was a very difficult pick. If anything, I figured if anyone were to play Mr. Poe, it would have to be a stretch, anyway.
He’s looks kinda like him. That’s all I pretty much have to say.
Upon seeing a photo of the real Stephen Douglas, all I can think about was Jack Black. So, Jack Black, it is.
John Wilkes Booth
Jason Lee playing a cold-stone killer. Who wouldn’t want to see that?
Hey, my picks could’ve been worse. I could have placed Donald Glover in the lead role.