The rundown of the latest NBA basketball news:
- This has nothing to do with basketball but George Steinbrenner died. (I don’t need a link for that. It’s everywhere right now) If you don’t know who he is, you’re an idiot. He’s the reason why people all over the country wear Yankees caps. Sure, rappers did it first but they took the fashion because the Yankees were and still are the biggest thing in baseball, let alone New York City. Under his ownership, the Yanks won 7 World Series (5 with Jeed-uh). I heard he screamed and yelled a lot. That’s because he’s The Boss (Slim Thug and Tony Danza need not apply).
- Zydrunas “Big Z” Ilgauskas, or the tall guy on the Cleveland Cavaliers who looks like Alice the Goon from Popeye, has followed his teammate and fellow puppet, LeBron James, to the Miami Heat. He is now a traitor to the city of the Cleveland in the same breath as Art Modell and Prince James for his “cowardly betrayal.” Hey, might as well be consistent there, Dan Gilbert.
- Raja Bell may sign with the Los Angeles Lakers to clothesline Kobe in practice. At least he’s not Chris Childs.
- The New Jersey Nets seriously struck out during free agency. Now, they’re just giving money away to people who will surely disappoint them. Sure, maybe Anthony Morrow will erupt like he did his very first NBA start and drop 22 like it’s nothing. But, he’s not exactly a gamechanger. Not only did the Knicks sign Amar’e Stoudemire before anyone else could, it must really suck for the Nets’ Russian owner to strike out on a RUSSIAN center! Damn, Prokorov. Do you have any pull? Does anybody want to play for Jay-Z? Does Jay-Z even want to attend Nets games in New Jersey? Yeah, he could “trip a referee” next to Spike!
- I’m a huge fan of basketball uniforms. They’re so comfortable, badass, innovative and sometimes shiny. I’ve heard my beloved Knicks are getting new unis this year. But, every photoshop job of Amar’e Stoudemire and the acquisition of new Knicks prove otherwise. They’re all holding up last year’s jersey!
- So far, I know that the Utah Jazz has got a new logo and colors. They’re bringing back the music note. I know that people always say that the Jazz belong in New Orleans and that they should switch names with the New Orleans Hornets. Here’s a better idea: have a 3-way trade with the Bobcats, too. The results would be the New Orleans Jazz, Charlotte Hornets, and the Utah Bobcats. Or, we could just keep things they way they are. I mean, the Jazz have existed in Utah longer than New Orleans. So, that’s done. Can we carry on? I just want to see the new uniforms. Navy blue, yellow, and green are their colors. I just hope they look better than this atrocity.
The Golden State Warriors went back to being just blue and yellow. They’ve also went to the bridge for their logo. That whole logo is going to be on the front of the jersey kinda like this. Um…mistake? Remember these? Or, these? I actually liked these but I’m biased. The Warriors got David Lee on their team now. So, I just have to take the time to thank David Lee for his years of service during the Knicks worst times. Good luck to you, David Lee.
- The Los Angeles Clippers went from this to this. The Cleveland Cavaliers went from this to being LeBron-less. Good luck finding the differences. The Orlando Magic were more obvious with their change. They went from this to this. What’s next? The Dallas Mavericks going from to this?
- John Wall didn’t disappoint in his first Summer League game. He went for 24 points and 8 assists. His shoes, on the other hand, did.
- Speaking of disappointment, I’m sure Paul Millsap is after the Utah Jazz traded for Al Jefferson to replace Carlos Boozer. The kid can’t seem to get a break into the starting lineup.
- Expect Michael Beasley to make more of an ass of himself. He is now playing in MInnesota. What’s to do there?! The only worse spot right now would be Cleveland.
This is Knick Hawk, signing off. AT THE BUZZER!!!
